Neckties, Girls, Guitars And A Bunch Of Emotions

I always hated goodbyes, even though some were meant to be...

2008-12-31T23:17:00.008+08:00

Hi.

I feel really, really sad right now.
And by the time you're reading this, it'll already be 2009.
I loved this year, I really did.
It brought me so much things and I just can't handle the thought it's going away.
I really hated the school year, but everything outside of it was just INSANELY AMAZING.
I wanted to do it justice by ending this year's blog with a BANG.
I don't see how I can but I really wanted to share with you something I wrote for the holidays, especially this year's.
I hope you like it and do comment; I'd really appreciate it.

Holidays In The Sun And Rain

It took me a decade and six years to figure out
It took me two sleepless nights
And five cans of ginger beer to finally think about
The end and when it comes and how it goes
When will I ever
Ever get to see you stay
When the night falls and takes away the light of day
When we stumble down to make our way

Up and down the country
Like my grades in school
You know how hot it can be but you think this is cool
Can a D60 capture every tear
Every year
There will be some place to be
There will be some things to come and go
Please, don't go

Never start what you don't want to end
Like being on an endless road
You might not get to see your friends
But I savor every moment
In my heart I feel afraid
I don't ever want this moment to go away

Buy me a T-shirt
I'd like to see how it fits
Can you fix me a chocolate shake
I need my medicine
So long
Goodbye
I don't think I'll miss you enough
But I know I'll never see you stay

Let my hug bring you through all your sorrow
Let my sorrow loosen your hug
No, I don't want to say tomorrow
Because with every dawn of a new day
Marks the end of one
And with that erases every memory we had to share

Never start what you don't want to end
Like being on an endless road
You might not get to see your friends
But I savor every moment
In my heart I feel afraid
Because I fear this moment would go away

Will it be better or will it be worse
Next year
Can I know how good it'll feel to see me empty my wallet
Or my mother's purse
First, there was the day when all was dark
But I know
I know
I know how I'd feel when everything falls apart

Never start what you don't want to end
Like being on an endless road
You might not get to see your friends
But I savor every moment
In my heart I feel afraid
Because I fear this moment would go away

Via a cellphone I react to a feeling
In the moonlit night
I felt a sadness creeping
Keep me from myself
I live a life of terror
If I were lost or insecure
I wouldn't even know if I were a him or a her

©Ahmad Firdaus Yosman, 2008

Goodbye 2008, hello 2009.
Oh, and not to forget.
Here's a shout-out to two people whose birthday is tomorrow.

*************************************************************************************

Ahmad Fariq bin Yosman

I know you're a pain in the ass sometimes, most of the times, actually, but hey, if it weren't for you I wouldn't be as miserable as I am right now.
It's ok, I like it.
Happy Birthday, Budak.
Hope you grow up someday.

Nurfarrahana Zain

Yeah, sorry I don't have a picture of you and that I only wrote YOUR name but hey, Happy Birthday, Farra.
You look really different.

*************************************************************************************

There's something about a year that you'll always remember it by; I'll remember this one by how I just realized that.

2009...

2008-12-30T21:35:00.005+08:00

Hi.
The post today will summarize everything that happened in 2008, I hope.
Ok, well, ALMOST everything.
I mean, I don't remember everything, right?
Tomorrow's post will feature something special that I'll share but you'll have to wait for tomorrow's post to know what it is.
Well then, here goes.
2008 was/is an AWESOME year for me.
Some highlights are as follows:

I learned a hell of a lot of things.
I write better and with more sense.
I now know how to be confident with myself.
I now know how to be a very bad guy.
I now know how to talk to girls ... online.
I have had more practice in playing the guitar.
I am closer to my cousins that are now known as THE COOL COUSINS (Nana, Rain, Azri, Farhan and myself).
I've finally thrown away some of my shyness and am more prone to tell jokes that make SENSE and that are FUNNY enough to laugh at.
I now know how to humiliate myself and feel good about it.
I am one year closer to my drive's license.
I got to spend a lot of money, energy and time with my truly beloved family.
I got to add more CDs to my collection.
I finally know how to express my feelings.
Girls look at me now; and not in disgust.
I got more respect from my classmates.
I lost weight.
I gained height.
I gained popularity, I think.
I like to think that I gained friends, too, but I'm really not sure.
I got to spend my school holidays in a very NOT BORING way.
I finally realized how much I love shopping.
Liverpool FC going top of the league into the new year.
I can finally buy clothes I couldn't even fit in the past.
I'm a lot COOLER than I was last year.
I look better than I did last year.
A script of mine was used for a sketch.
More things are done according to my way.
MySpace became a better place for me this year.
A lot of memories I'll maybe forget, but I'll cherish every single one of them.
Somebody's into me.
People appreciate and respect me more.
I can scream, like, SCREAMO kind of scream.
The best HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI ever.
Last but not least, my first blog; NECKTIES, GIRLS, GUITARS AND A BUNCH OF EMOTIONS.

Some of the lows of 2008 are:

I still keep doing my bad habits.
I waste time that should've been used to the fullest.
I still don't pray all 5 prayers a day, everyday.
I got depressed a lot.
I still am.
I don't smile that much anymore.
I cut myself a lot of times.
People around me still think I'm perfect.
Expectations from everybody didn't get any lower.
I saw people change and do stuff they should never even do.
I cried a lot.
I was ignored a lot.
I was practically invisible even though I have a body the size of a refrigerator.
I got more sensitive.
I lost a lot of money.
I rarely remember to do stuff, mostly important ones.
I easily forget things.
2008 won't last forever.
I couldn't spend more time with my cousins.
I always acted like a total idiot around people that I really liked.
I never thought twice before doing something.
I always thought that I never deserved to live and I still do.
I still don't know where I'm going or what I'll be doing in the future.
I wish there were more lows than highs.

Well, I figure that that's enough.
Next year, I won't be updating this blog.
I figure, that I'll be posting on this blog starting 2010, if I live that long.
I'm thinking of a new blog next year.
You just wait and see.

Oh, here is the new blog's URL:
http://suicidemonkeys-storyoftheyear.blogspot.com

Please check in for tomorrow's post here as it will be the last post of 2008.
It will be posted around 11.30 pm if nothing comes up then.
Heh.

I apologize for taking your time; mostly because I can NEVER give it back.

Endings are the beginnings of a new ending...

2008-12-29T20:48:00.007+08:00

Hi.
I SERIOUSLY think that the title is funny.
I think it's true, too.
Anyway.
I don't how I'm going to wrap up my blog for 2008, but I have some ideas.
Heh.
You just wait, it's going to be ... pleasant.
Not too long, not too short.
Just nice.
So, today we went to JUSCO Tebrau City.
Walked around, went into shops, looked at some things.
I didn't buy anything.
Nothing was really interesting me.
I wanted to buy a green T-shirt but there weren't any that attracted me.
I only had RM50 to spend so I wasn't really in the mood to shop.
Next year I'll shop again.
We ate lunch at Pizza Hut.
No pictures to upload.
Dad didn't bring his D60.
"Malas," he said.
"Jalan-jalan macam ni bawak la yang boleh masuk poket. Mommy kan ada Canon. Kau pun ada kan?".
Couldn't really argue with that.
I just thought that his camera was the best and this blog deserved awesome pictures in it.
That's all.
Heh.
Oh well, if you don't have it then you don't have it.
I made Mikel a MySpace account.
If any of you want to add him, this is his URL:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=441142835
Do add him.
He's really new to MySpace so go easy on him.
Whatever that means.
Anyway, I kind of left out the pictures in Penang from Padang Kota in Part 2 of "Holidays in the sun and rain...", so here they are:
Me and the BEST cousin ever!
THE COOL COUSINS (not in picture: Arin)

To quote a cousin of mine: "Look in my two eyes..."
Wiping sweat off my face.

Again, with Nana.

Well, then, people.
That's all for today.
Heh.

TRYING is the best thing man can offer; SUCCESS is the reward for trying your best.

Who says I'm not screamo?!

2008-12-26T19:59:00.007+08:00

Hi.
So, the other day I went back to KL.
After all the dramatic writing, about how I'd miss Nana and all and everything, I went back to KL.
But I only stayed there for one night.
FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY.
Like those ads you see on marquees or something.
It wasn't enough that I couldn't stay there longer, but then I found out that we weren't going to join in the Bowling Tournament.
It was firstly Dad's idea to hold one, then he was the one who bailed out.
I felt pretty shitty.
So shitty, that I regret ever following him to KL that day.
Damn it, I was so pissed, I didn't even cry.
I got over it eventually.
Azri and his family came down to KL the next day I came home from KL.
Then, he and Nana and the rest of the guys there got to bowl, TWO TIMES.
On tow consecutive nights, they bowled.
Now, who wouldn't feel shitty after getting news like that?
I know who WOULD, and that would be ME.
But I'm over it.
SERIOUSLY.
I'm not mad anymore, just disappointed.
The point is, when you say something that you don't mean, DON'T SAY IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
It hurts other people more than you can imagine.
Heh.
Oh well, this post was actually delayed for, like, three days or something.
Since Christmas Eve, would you believe it?
I would.
I mean, it's me, right?
Oh, and the other day, I bought The Final Riot! by Paramore.

I don't think I'll watch it until the end of next year.
It's a CD/DVD thing like The Black Parade Is Dead! and Road to Revolution: Live at Milton Keynes.
I kind of promised Nana that I would preserve the wrapping until I get to watch it with her.
I don't know if that was a smart move but I really want to watch it for the first time with her.
She means that much to me.

Signs don't really tell you where to go; they just tell you where NOT to go.

Holidays in the sun and rain... (Part 2)

2008-12-23T13:04:00.008+08:00

Hi.

If you're reading this and wondering why it says "Part 2" in the title, it means you have to scroll down to read "Part 1" before reading this.
This way, you can avoid confusion and i don't have to write about the last part all over again.
So, now that that's done, where was I?
Oh yeah.

14th December 2008
Today we checked out of the hotel.
We were heading for Cik Cha's house for lunch and Dad wanted to exchange cars for the trip to Penang.
So, we got our stuff, I had to repack and rearrange the dirty clothes into one bag and the clean clothes into another.
Hard work, but I guess I don't mind.
We had our lunch at the cafe downstairs at the lobby.
I had Mee Goreng Mamak and Hot Tea.
Here's a pretty nice picture from that place.
After resting and all, we went on our way to Penang in the Rexton.
Acul helped me transfer the stuff and arrange them in the trunk of the Rexton.
On the way to Penang, we stopped at Pelita Nasi Knadar for dinner.
I think it was somewhere around 11 at that time and we were really hungry.
There won't be any pictures from there because Dad said that we would have to pay more if we looked like we were RICH.
So he didn't take out his D60 and the pictures from my camera aren't good.
In fact, they SUCK.
I want that D60.
I WANT it.
Then, after another hour or so in the car, we finally arrived at Gurney Hotel, one of the best hotels I have ever stayed at.
Gurney Hotel = AWESOMENESS
You see, last year, around this time of year, the whole family from my Mom's side went to Penang for a family vacation.
Almost everybody was there.
This year was kind of low key, I don't know why though.
Heh.

15th December 2008
We all woke up kind of early that day.
We went down to breakfast at the first floor, above the ground floor.
And after that, we had this sort of photoshoot outside the hotel.
There were a lot of pictures but not all of them turned out great and I looked really silly in some of them.
Here's the best pick:

I really, really like this one. FYI, I took the picture.

Then Mom told us that we were going to Achik's house for lunch and afterwards we were going to go to either Queensbay Mall or Gurney Plaza.
We were going to get to meet Azri; one of the most AWESOME cousins I have.
Heh.
Before that we stayed in the room for a while.
Mom told me to take some istures of the view from the room.
We were at the 19th floor so there had to be some view, right?

Those were the only decent pictures I took of tthe view.
Then Nana and I camwhored!

ALL the shoes brought to Penang. Well, there were 4 more pairs of work shoes but they're pretty much irrelevant.

Azri was awaiting for us when we arrived at Achik's house.
He had to show us the parking space Achik had given us.
Then we went upstairs and played GTA: San Andreas.
Azri and Zahid had already taken down cheats off the internet so we played like crazy.
Drove tanks around town, flying jets and helicopters and stuff.
Zahid even did something very DISGUSTING.
Hahaha.
Anyway, I didn't eat lunch since I already had a very heavy breakfast.
I even had to hang the clothes like I always do at home.
What, even in Penang?!
Yeah, that's me, the hanging guy.
Some time in the afternoon we decided to go to Queensbay Mall.
It's this huge mall located near ... Queensbay, I think.
I saw Shahrul there, too.
He's my tuition classmate.
Fancy meeting him there
I bought perfume from Adidas, Nana finally got herself a bag and I don't know what else we bought.
We went Subaidah, yeah, Subaidah, like the one in Malacca, for dinner.
It was ok, I guess.
Azri and Zahid followed us back to the hotel to stay for the next three days or so.
I turned in kind of early that night.
I didn't feel really cheery or anything that night.
I still don't really know why.

16th December 2008
I don't remember if we did or did not go swimming today.
I really don't remember.
I think we did.
Cik Zul brought us lunch that day, so that means we did go swimming!
Hahaha.

Oh, and after we got back from swimming, the Cool Cousins (Nana, Azri, Farhan and I) showered TOGETHER!

It was really fun and the shower fit us all, thankfully.
Nothing much happened during the day and at night, we went to eat at ... Subaidah; AGAIN.
But this was a different Subaidah than yesterday's.
I think Aboy arrived some time that day.
Man, I forgot!!!
Azri looked like a real PSYCHO, wearing his cap covering his eyes, his round, sinister eyes.
SERIOUSLY.
Aboy had a great time camwhoring throughout the whole time.
There weren't any interesting pictures to show you but here's some:

I did some drawing when we got back to the hotel.
And before we slept, Nana, Azri, Farhan and I played this word game where a person says an abbreviation of words and the others have to expand them.
It's kind of hard to explain but playing it is very, very easy.

17th December 2008
We did more swimming today.
Achik brought us lunch, rice, fish and egg.
And we had dinner at Gurney Plaza.
The 'young people' consisting of Aboy (not so young), Nana, Azri, Zahid, Farhan, Fariq and I WALKED there.
Took some pictures on the way there too but not with the D60.
I don't know why this day seems awfully short but I assure, a lot happened.
Or maybe, a little happened, but happened for a very long time.
Huh.
Maybe.
All the 'young people' went to the arcade.
First we played Daytona USA.
Then, Nana and I played The House of the Dead 4.
It was super SCARY.
We even had this guy and his family watch us in AMAZEMENT.
We only got to Chapter 2 before I we died.
We were supposed to watch The Day the Earth Stood Still last night, but Aboy bought the wrong tickets so we had to watch it tonight.
It started at 12.30 am.
It was good.
I really liked it because of the message it had to send to the viewers where we humans have to change our way of living because all that we do nowadays is pollute the Earth and all.
Keanu Reeves looked really cool in the suit.
Hahaha.
We played the word game again.
This time, Aboy joined.
Suddenly, when we were playing, I think it was Nana's turn when she fell asleep, and there was this weird silent moment, then everyone fell asleep, too.

18th December 2008
More swimming.
We walked to Khaleel for lunch.
I think mamak restaurants are rip offs.
Lunch that day was a total of RM71.40.
Pretty shitty stuff if you ask me.
I didn't go to dinner that night.
I don't know.
I just didn't want to pig out and stuff so I decided to stay at the hotel room alone.
The guys came bak at 2 because there was this awful traffic jam and all.
Heh.
I spent the whole night online.
Surfing the internet anywhere I could.
Aboy also went back to KL that night.
He had something to do for the next three days so he said that he wanted to go home early.

19th December 2008
MORE SWIMMING.
That's all I can remember for the day entertainment.
Then we went to Padang Kota for dinner.
It's a real 'neck for neck' kind of food court place.
If you sit at one table, and someguys come to you for orders, then you can only order your food from the guys that come to you.
And, if you're sitting near to one foodstall, then you can only order from that foodstall, even if the foodstall you usually order your food from is right across the area.
I mean, it's easier to say that the place is divided into quadrants.
People from the first quadrant can't order from the stalls in the other quadrants.
Something like that.
The food there wasn't at all satisfying except for the pasembur.
The pasembur there is THE BEST.
I don't know why, but the D60 wasn't there.
After dinner, we took a stroll down breezy seaside.
There are some pictures from there but Dad hasn't transfered them into Mom's pendrive so I don't have them.
I'll try to get them and upload them as soon as I feel like I want to.
Azri and Zahid went home that night.

20th December 2008
Today we were packing up and heading for home.
But not necessarily straight to Johor.
We had to stop at KL because Dad had some work the next day at Putrajaya.
We checked out sometime around 10.30 am and Dad dropped us off at Achik's house where we stayed there until 2.30 pm.
Then we went to BJ Mall or whatever it's called to play some bowling!
But then Dad called and said that we didn't have time and all but w still did get to play.
Farhan won overall with 60 something points.
Zahid came in second, Nana and Azri beat me and i came in fourth.
Aiman did really great, even for his age.
He's 7 this year, I think.
We ate at some place next to a cemetery.
Mee Pitchay is really, really GREAT.
If you're anywhere in Penang, you have to try it.
Aiman was elected the Chief of the Cool table but I don't know for how long his reign will be.
Then we set off for KL where I listened to Fariq's PSP all trip long.
When we got there, we ate at some restaurant where they put on The Blues Brothers.
It's a really good movie.
Then we met up with Arin, Mak, Tok Min, Cik Apis and Cik Along at Cik Cha's house.
They arrived there the day before and they were just on their way to Cik Pais' house to stay there for the night.
Arin didn't though.
He wanted to hang out with us so he stayed.
We watched The Rocker before going to bed that night.

21st December 2008
I really HATED today.
I had to part with the best cousin EVER, namely Nana.
She was stuck with us through the whole trip up and down the country since the start of the school holidays.
She's always been the one to make normal moments seem a lot more fun and awesome.
I can't imagine anyone in this world would have a cousin like her, except for all my other cousins of course.
I hugged and said my goodbyes before getting into the car returning to Johor.
I kind of cried when I listened to I Caught Myself by Paramore becasue that song was the theme song for our vacation and listening to it and realising that Nana wasn't there with us, I really felt sad.
I really miss her and all my other cousins.
I don't know why though, because I see almost every week.
But this time, it was different.
We were very close throughtout the holidays and parting with her was almost unbearable.
Heh.
To be honest, I really think that I'd rather spend my time with my cousins rather than I'd spend it with my friends.
I know for a fact that I have the BEST cousins a person could ever have.
And we will always be the Cool Cousins.

So that concludes the trip from Johor to KL to Malacca to Kl to Penang to KL to Johor.
I really like travelling, especially with my cousins and family.
I had a really great time throughtout the whole trip and I can't wait for next year's.
However, the holidays aren't over yet and there's still a lot more that I can do during these last days of holidays.
So, I'll stop thinking of next year, and continue relaxing this year.

If I'm not the happiest man alive, then maybe I'm the happiest man DEAD.

Holidays in the sun and rain... (Part 1)

2008-12-22T22:20:00.018+08:00

Hi.

I feel kind of regretful that I chose to blog about the whole of the 10 day trip up and down the country instead of blogging everyday while on the trip, but I think that this will be the longest if not the best post I've ever written.
I really hope that people other than my family will read this, I want some RECOGNITION.
Well, anyway, I thought of writing this blog in a manner that it rhymes but let's just see how it turns out.
So, here goes.

11th December 2008
I don't remember what time I woke up but I do remember that we had to pack our clothes for a week.
That meant 7 clothes for morning and 7 clothes for night.
I basically had to empty my wardrobe and it turned out that most of my clothes that I delegated for Penang were in BLACK.
I didn't really mind that I had really dark clothes and all, because they make me look 'smaller' than I really am.
Gosh, this whole holiday I've been eating my mouth off.
SERIOUSLY.
I'm going to need to get back in shape when school starts next year.
But I don't want to think about next year when the school holidays aren't over yet.
We set out around 12.30 pm, I think.
I brought a lot of things with me and the car's trunk was so full, it didn't even fit AIR.
Heh.
I wanted to listen to Linkin Park's new album, Road to Revolution: Live at Milton Keynes, but I heard one song, Jigga What/Faint and it had a lot of profanity in it so I thought I'd just listen to it on Farhan's PSP, but he was already hogging it.
I think we were in Malacca when I finally got to borrow it.
The record is total AWESOMENESS.
It's a CD/DVD thing, kind of like Live in Texas.
I was kind of baffled when Dad didn't exit into Subang Jaya like he usually does, instead he went straight and the next thing I knew, we were in Putrajaya.
It turned out that Dad had some work to do and we had to wait for him in Alamanda.
We had a lot of time to walk around.
First, we went to al-Ikhsan, where I told mom that I had insufficient shorts, so I had to try out like 8 different shorts and finally picked 3.
Mom bought them.
I really like the Adidas one, it's really comfortable.
Then, we went into Nike, there wasn't much there.
After that, we checked out Tropicana Life.
I tell you, that place is cool.
I saw this one shirt that looked really nice and it was size L.
I tried it on and I fit it perfectly.
Can you believe it?
Size L.
So I bought that one and also a cap, because I didn't own one and I don't know.
i just thought that I needed to have one.
Then we went upstairs to see Quiksilver and Billabong.
The Quiksilver there isn't as awesome as the one at Pavillion and the Billabong store wasn't at all big.
Mom wanted us to grab something to eat so we went to The Chicken Rice Shop.
I didn't want to eat there because I knew that dinner would be much better.
It always is when we were in KL.
Then Dad came by to pick us up to go to Cik Cha's house.
We ate at Hartamas Square that night.
Aboy went off to help Kak Eija (Aboy told me that 'E' comes before 'I' and not the other way around) with her sister's wedding.
The food there is really good.
When we got home, everyone was ready to go to bed.
Instead of watching a DVD like we usually do, Farhan, Nana and I watched Linkin Park - Road to Revolution: Live at Milton Keynes.
The performance was AMAZING.
Totally outstanding.
My favourite song was Points of Authority which you can only watch after finishing the whole DVD and unlocking the speacial content.
Weird.

12th december 2008
Today we were going to Malacca because Mom had this conference thingy there.
But before that we went to Putrajaya at around 3 pm.
Dad had more work there and Mom had to bring the car.
Nana was going to tag along with us to Malacca and then to Penang.
I really LOVE it when she's around.
It always makes the trip seem a lot more fun.
That morning, Farhan and Nana told me that Cik Cha was giving directions in her SLEEP.
Hahaha.
I was already asleep then but it was kind of like a premonition.
A vision, before something like that really comes true.
And it did.
Cik Cha had to give Mom directions to Putrajaya because Dad left the car and went there by LRT or monorail or whatever that thing is.
So we all headed to Alamanda Putrajaya, again.
We walked around and went into shops and stuff.
Nana was looking for a school bag that she really wanted.
So we went into the same stores/shops as we did yesterday and I bought a belt at Tropicana Life.
I'm starting to really like that place.
Fariq bought a bag and Farhan got himself a long sleeved T-shirt.
Then we headed to the food court where we ate Crispy Popiah.
Those are the best things I've ever tasted, SERIOUSLY.
Oh, the reason there hasn't been any pictures yet is because Dad's too shy to use his D60.
And because he's the one who's working so the D60 wasn't really in our possession.
We got out of there and headed for Malacca at about 5.00 pm.
We arrived at Ancasa Hotel in Malacca at about 7.00 pm.
The hotel utterly SUCKED.
You go in through the door, you see a TV set, two beds and no fridge.
What kind of a hotel is that?
Well, as Farhan finally pointed out, "Diorang sengaja buat macam ni sebab nak suruh orang keluar. Tak yah duduk dalam bilik je".
Dad was always saying he wanted to go back to Johor.
Heh.
What kind of a holiday would that have been?
We ate our dinner at Subaidah, a mamak restaurant.
Nowadays, I feel pretty ok with the idea of eating at places like that.
I mean, the food is good so why would I hate it?
I had to sleep on the floor that night because I was coughing or for some other reason I certainly don't know.
Before we went out for dinner, we, the kids, cam whored with Dad's D60.
Here are the SOME of them:

Well, that's most of the best shots taken that night.

13th December 2008
Today I woke up for Subuh then I went back to sleep.
Then I woke up at about 10.30 am.
Woke the other guys up because Dad wanted to bring us out to lunch.
Mom wasn't going to join us throughtout the day because she's the one working.
Well, we were supposed to go out for breakfast but then the kids didn't get ready until 11.30 so we just went straight ahead to lunch.
We went to Mahkota Parade.
At first we just walked around and then when we say Kenny Roger's Roasters we decided to eat there.
I haven't eaten at Kenny Roger's for a long time so Dad had to do most of the ordering.
I swear, the waiter guy looked almost identical to Haniesha's boyfriend, Shah.
But I'm sure he wasn't because he looked older than 17.
I don't know the names of the food we ate but here are some pictures taken there:

After we finished our meal we went to walk around Mahkota Parade.
Farhan bought a bag at Body Glove.
He has been looking for one since last week so he was pleased to have finally found one.
Now only Nana is left without a school bag.
I bought mine just the other day for RM119.
It's a green Adidas messenger bag.
There really wasn't much to see at Mahkota Parade so we moved on to go to Dataran Pahlawan.
God, the place is HUGE.
I don't know for how long is spands but it spands long.
First we walked around with Dad here and there.
Then he went to get a foot massage somewhere so he let us walk around ourselves.
We went to Nike, Quiksilver/Roxy, Body Glove and even Padini Authentics.
We bought nothing and sudden;y after Body Glove, we lost Farhan.
Yeah, he disappeared somewhere so we waited for him to reappear.
I got to handle the D60 so I took some pictures with it while waiting.
Here they are:
This is seriously an AWESOME picture.

Nana took this one.

After that we finally met up with dad and we headed off to the Menara Taming Sari.
Before that we took some pictures with the Christmas decorations outside the Megamall.

I didn't realise it until I looked at the time, but we spent a total of 5 hours at Dataran Pahlawan!
No wonder I was so tired.
Heh.
On the way there, we stopped at McDonald's for a drink and to meet up with Cik Cha.
She came down from KL to join us for dinner later.
She was accompanied by Acul.
And, as you may have predicted, we took more pictures.

This is me being TIRED.

On the way to the Menara Taming Sari, we had to go by the Christ Church.
I don't know what that place is really called and I know somebody will eventually tell me what it is but it's the place where there're these stalls and trishaws and all that are located in front of this big red building.
There are also some historical landmarks and big ships that are made into museums and canons and whatnot.
As tourists with a very fine camera, we took more pictures.
Boy, with all these pictures, I'm never going to get this post done.
I mean, I can only upload 5 pictures at a time, and that takes like 10 minutes to finish.
I have tons of pictures to upload and God I am so sleepy.
Heh.
Well, here are the pictures.
We even took pictures with a snake!

Then there was the big wheel thing from the war times.

And we did go to that ship museum I told you about.
They have air-conditioning inside.
It was pretty cold actually.

There were some pictures from when we were inside the ship but they didn't turn out so well so I left them out.
And after that we went to the TLDM Museum.

We finally arrived at the Menara Taming Sari at 7 pm.
Somehow we got free tickets and only had to wait in line like th rest of the people.
There were a few pictures taken there but I'll only these since I think they're the best choice and because I'm in them.

Except this one, though.

After all that walking around, taking pictures and laughing and all, we finally had dinner at the Seri Muara Alai place.
It's a restaurant that serves seafood as its main dish.
I hate looking at myself eat so I'll just show you the food and not the people eating them.

The remains of what we ate.

We all set for home after that.
Cik Cha and Acul went back to KL while we went back to the hotel.
I got blisters from walking around in shoes without socks.
Damn my misjudgment.

I think I'll stop right here.
I'm sorry but I'm really sleepy right now.
It's 1.30 am and I've been sitting in front of my laptop for 3 hours now and there are about 7 or more days to blog about.
I think I'll leave it here and continue tomorrow when I wake up.
Hope you guys don't mind, I surely don't.
Wait for Part 2 and hopefully there won't be a Part 3.
Till then, people.

I can't stand knowing that if I do, I'd be more exposed to death than I am sitting down.

Up and down the country, like my grades in school...

2008-12-11T00:29:00.002+08:00

Hi.
Did I say hi in my last post?
I think I did.
I'll check after this.
Heh.
Anyway, I'll only be blogging about today so I'm pretty sure that this post won't be as long as the previous one.
I didn't sleep last night.
Chatted with the cousins, Nana and Rain.
We talked about a lot of stuff, some ridiculous, some funny and some that we're not supposed to actually talk about.
Haha.
I also talked to ZAHRA!
After a very, very long time of silence, we actually chatted!
Oh, how I love Yahoo! Messenger.
I think the chatting started some time around 11 or something, I can't remember.
The chitter-chatter finally ended at 4 a.m but I was still up until 4.30, I think.
I fell asleep and dreamed (American English, don't tell me I'm wrong) about stuff that I had already forgotten about.
But I do recall it being a nightmare of some sort.
Haha.
I didn't wash my feet before I slept.
I woke up at 12.50 p.m, brushed my teeth, washed my face and went downstairs to do some chores.
First I did the laundry then I took out the trash.
Then I watched TV.
When mom and dad came home, Farhan was still asleep so dad got pretty mad at him for not waking up yet.
Heh.
Good thing I was already up.
I didn't do much in the afternoon.
I watched the Liverpool game I didn't get to see this morning.
Then I went out to meet the guys and play some basketball.
For dinner, dad brought us out to eat at Johnny's.
We ate the steamboat thingy, I ate Thai Belacan Rice and drank Ice Lemon Tea.
I snapped a few pictures but I've already changed the memory card in my phone and I'm too lazy to changed it back so no pictures for this post!
Haha.
Got back home, and loaded some Ah-Ha videos from YouTube.
Ah-Ha is a pretty damn funny show.
Afdlin Shauki and Harith Iskandar the Malaysia's best comedians by far.
Here's one that's very hilarious:

So, I think that's all for today.
I don't really know what interesting thing happened today but I felt that I should update anyway since I won't be in Johor for the next week or so.
Heh.
Going on holiday with the family in Penang!
Yeah!
Haha.
Well then.

So he said to the dog, "play dead"; the dog did nothing but smile.

May I be your brain to make you think you like me?

2008-12-08T21:25:00.013+08:00

Hi.

I'm not a very committed person.
I don't understand myself why I haven't blogged for the past MONTH.
I mean, damn it, a whole lot of things have happened and not one of them wasn't exciting or fun or thrilling or whatever.
I felt great doing every single one of them.
Some of the highlights of the past month are (not in correct time chronology) :

Watched TWILIGHT.
Watched this with Farhan, Fariq, Nana, Aboy and Kak Ieja (?).
One of the most awesome and best movies I have ever seen in my whole entire life.
The setting, the lighting, the actors, the voices, the GIRLS, the suspense, the awesomeness, the VAMPIRES, the jokes, the awfully cool characters and such.
It wasn't boring at all.
However, although the movie was anything but disappointing, it wasn't the exact mirror to the book in ways like how the movie only described little of the character's background, how Edward was already taking Bella to school even before they were a couple etc.
Yes, I have also read the book; in a matter of two days.

Watched QUARANTINE.
I watched this with Farhan, Nana, Aboy and Kak Ieja (I seriuosly think this is how we spell her name).
Damn, it was a whole 2 hours of pure fear stuck in my heart with my hands in my mouth, popcorn in front of my face and my legs couldn't stop shaking.
Movies like that are so super indulging because we see it from a first-person view so we experience everything like it's happening right in front of our bloody eyes.
The movie was quite similar to Cloverfield but it was awesome anyway.
Mrs Espinoza was HOT.
Hahahahahahahahaaaaa.

Watched Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa.
Also watched this with the same people as in Twilight, except Kak Ieja.
The movie was ... quite hilarious.
The plot was ok and the jokes did make me laugh.
But, I wasn't really talking about it in the car on the way back home.
I mean, it wasn't THAT good but it's worth watching.

Traveled from Johor to KL to Johor to KL and so on for God knows how many times.
I'm not complaining, I love both places as much as I love ... those places, which is a lot.
I don't remember exactly why but it was because of things like my mom had a conference and taught some classes and stuff.
I don't tend to focus on why, but I mainly focus on what fun things to do there with my very awesome cousins, NANA and ABOY!
I love spending time with them, listening to their jokes, making new jokes, talking trash about people and stuff.
It's never, ever boring when I'm with them.

Went to the Special IMO Camp at UiTM.
It was from 1st to 4th December 2008.
I was very reluctant to go.
I didn't want to be this freaky nerdy geeky math guy but it was a chance to learn new things and stuff so whatever.
It was kind of ... ok, I guess.
Met some new friends and learned a thing or two.
The tests were hard, especially the first one but the last two were kind of ok.
Mom just got a message and now Farhan and I are going to get called for the camp in January.
I really, really, really don't think I want to go, but that doesn't necessarily mean I won't.
Besides, the place is near to KL and KJ so I'm sure I'll get visits.

Oh, and the sleepless nights in KJ where we wouldn't sleep until 2 or 3 because Aboy likes to watch DVDs before he sleeps.
So, we all, except Fariq, would watch and then fall asleep.
I think it's a really great way to make you feel sleepy and that I should try doing it, too.
But I don't have a DVD collection the size of Aboy and Nana's so it would be very impossible to be doing what they do.
Plus, I'm not much of a piracy fan so I'd say no to buying the DVDs, but watching them with everyone else would be an absolute yes.

I think Zahra and I stopped talking.
It's a pity because we used to always talk and text message so I don't know what happened.
Well, I was busy travelling and going out and stuff and I didn't really arrive home until the ends of the night so I think that it's 95% my fault that we stopped contacting each other.
Maybe when school starts again we'll continue what we stopped.
Hopefully.

Went to Fly.fm's 3rd Fly-niversary thingy.
Got to see Bunkface (awesome, awesome, awesome), Faizal Tahir (mehh), some other band and also ... this other performer.
I have a T-shirt to prove I was there; and I CAN fit it.

Went shopping the other day.
I got two pairs of shoes; a Vans black slip-on with checkered patterns on the side and a Converse All-Star shoe for school, also bought two T-shirts of the same design at the Adidas warehouse sale, got a pair of Converse socks, wanted to buy a Quiksilver cap but there wasn't any new one so I didn't and I also wanted to get something at Pavillion but there wasn't much time.
I love shopping, or maybe just walking around shopping complexes with my family.
It's always nice to go for outings like that and it makes us feel more relaxed.
I'm not neccessarily the type of person to walk around malls aimlessly but when I have the mood, I certainly enjoy doing it.

This morning was Hari Raya Haji.
Us cousins cam whored last night.
We took some very, very funny picutres but I don't have them with me so I won't be uploading any anytime soon.
I hope I will, though, but I seriously doubt it.

I think I ticked mom off when I called her a busy body.
I seriously regret doing it and sincerely apologize for my misbehaviour.
SORRY, MOMMY.
I hope she reads this and forgives me.
She usually does and that makes her the awesome person she is.
Like the other day, I lost RM50 at the IMO camp, and she didn't even shout at me.
I know, I was shocked myself.
Plus, she said she would give me RM50 as a replacement for the lost RM50 and that dad would give another RM50 for shopping!
I was so totally freaked out, I didn't want the money.
But I took them anyway.
I mean, who doesn't want money?

I don't really remember anything else that has happened though I feel very regretful that I didn't blog sooner.
I really feel as if there are a lot more things that happened that I should tell you readers about, but I just can't seem to recall anymore that I already have.
Oh well, I'm sure there'll be more things to blog about in the next coming weeks.
Sometime this week I'll be going back to KL for a day, I think, then migrate to Malacca, then if Nana comes with us to Malacca then we're all going straight to Penang for a holiday!
Dad just bought his most anticipated Nikon D60 so I'm sure the pictures in the next posts are going to rock!

*************************************************************************************

Ok.
Here I'd like to give a birthday shoutout to two people I hold near and dear to my heart:
3rd December 2008 - Ahmad Faiz b. Ahmad

You've always made my life one of the most wonderful lives ever and you've never stopped being so small; which is the thing I like most about you.
Thanks for being Da Lil' Man that you are.

4th December 2008 - Nur Haniesha Eliza bt. Rahman

Well, yeah I've only seen you once and that didn't even last a day but man, you are one hell of a friend.
I honestly think we'll meet again someday.
Thanks for being the 'haniesha' person that you are and always trying to cheer me up and all.
I like talking to you and making jokes and stuff.
Thanks for being you; thanks for being HANIESHA.

*************************************************************************************

I almost forgot, I'm in Johor as of now, and I feel like I've never left this place.
My heart and soul loathes the fact that I am who I am and how I feel right now.
My head and shoulder are already too burdened by the fact that I always want more than what I have.
I've left my friends behind here to be as selfish as I can so I can be happy for myself and be with family for a change.
I feel that I have done nothing wrong but at the same time I've done something so horrible I should DIE because of it.
However, there's no tomorrow if all you think about are the days of the past.

Like a monkey in a jungle, where anywhere he swings, he'll still end up on a tree;
fitting in has never been so EASY.

p/s: Here are some random pictures from random places:
Dinner at UTM. Got RM80 for 8As for PMR.
Hi-tea at Palma Cafe something something at Shah Alam; celebrating Dad and Mom's 17th anniversary. It wasn't much but ok.

It turned out pretty good.

Aboy on the right.

Close-up.
S.T.A.R - Seriously The Awesomest Rider

Maybe there'll be more but don't expect too highly of it.

The sunny raindrops and the gloomy sunshine.

2008-11-19T22:39:00.006+08:00

Hi.

Am I boring you?
Seriously.
I mean, I post random but thoroughly thought out posts, I talk about me and I never really make you feel happy.
So, once again, am I boring you?
If so, I feel so sorry.
I can't help it, I'm boring.
Whatever.
Who cares, right?
The principal is boring, but she's still popular amongst ... no, she's no way near POPULAR.
People can't even bring themselves to smile at her.
Seriously.
However, you're not here to know about her, right?
Yeah, you're not.
Let's give her a nice FOB and get on with this post.
So, today, I planned an outing with the guys for some:
Bowling!

Yeah, one of the most enjoyable things to play with friends and/or family.
Even girlfriends but I don't have one so scrap that out.
Heh.
The gang included Faiz, Abbas, Mikel, who brought his little sister and his giant cousin, Farhan and I.
I actually invited MANY, MANY people, but they were either not cool enough to go out or they were too chicken, except for Zahra, I understand her situation.
ZAHRA.
Anyway, mom sent Abbas, Faiz, Farhan and I while Mikel and his followers came by ... wait, I don't know how they went there.
Speaking of location, we played at Skudai Parade for mainly two reasons:

Cheap ... payment (?)
Close distance from home

Plus, it was a better idea to play here rather than Angsana.
Suckish bowling alley.
DO NOT GO TO ANGSANA TO BOWL.
Seriously.
We got there, and paid our payments and got lane 11 and 12.
It was Faiz's first time playing and his throw got him a STRIKE.
Not kidding.
And he got more strikes but he wasn't all that.
I didn't manage even one strike but who cares.
We played two games, the first won by Abbas and the second by Mikel.
Oh, before I forget, I fell once.
Nobody could laugh ir blame me because lane 12 is a CURSED lane.
Seriously.
Here are a couple of pictures taken there:
The beginner, Faiz.
Mikel and his trademark pose.

So the reason there aren't that many pictures is because we were all focused on the bowling, that nobody had the time or space to snap photos, which is a great excuse.

Then, we went to eat at:
KFC!

I wanted an Alaskan Fish Burger, but I had to wait 15 minutes for it.
So I changed my order to a Zinger Burger and guess what?
I had to wait 15 minutes for it, too.
OH, COME ON!
So I asked that dude, "what food can I have without waiting?".
And he says, "chicken burger ... chicken".
So I got the Snack Plate thingy.
I only one of the two chickens!
Can you believe that?
Oh, and the whole time we were there, there were these three girls, like, eavesdropping and always looking at us.
They couldn't stop laughing, giggling, chuckling, smiling, BREATHING.
I was like, "you want my number or something?"
I scared them off with a loud giggle.
Heh.
I sure showed them.
I would ask for one of their numbers if I weren't ... oh wait, I can't tell you, mom's reading.
Hi, mom!
Anyway, back to KFC, Abbas showed me this video that I couldn'treally understand but was quite hilarious.
Before leaving, we played with the chicken and leftovers and got this:
We call it, "Ayam Ba-cak". No, actually Faiz calls it that.

Then, we hit the arcade.
Played Daytona USA there.
For the Beginner's level, I got third and for the Advanced level, I got second.
How good am I?
After that, Faiz was eager to teach us how to:
Rollerblade.

He claims to be an expert at it.
Ok, so I'm the one who says he's an expert but it's the same thing once you think about it.
At first, we were all like this:
Falling on the gorund like it was soft and warm.

It most certainly wasn't.
But after awhile, Farhan, Mikel and Abbas got the hang while I always landed on my knee and cramped up my arm.
Farhan wants me to talk about his 'determination' and stuff, but it's not his blog.
Right?
Right.
I have two words that can describe rollerblading for beginners:

Exhausting
PAINFUL

But that's just it.
Once you're ok, then you'll be like flying through the air without wings and with wheels on the bottom of your shoe, like it's not bizzare enough that people even came to think of doing that.
I sweated like a sweat machine.
Mikel and Abbas brought back home with them blisters and Farhan was all on Faiz's ass, thanking him for teaching him how to rollerblade, saying how appreciative he was, how he'd like to repay Faiz by letting Faiz buying him drinks and stuff.
It's really degrading and embarassing to do that but he does it like he has a right to do it.
I don't really know what I meant but I think it makes sense.
We went off for home around 6.15pm.
Mikel and his followers went back by ... wait, I don't know how they went home.
The rest of us hitched a ride with Faiz's dad.

So here I am, blogging.
I will be heading for KL tomorrow.
I don't know if or if not I'll be updating this blog but who knows?
I'll stop here, seeing that I haven't packed up yet.
Oh, before I forget, I can play some new chords which are Am, A, E and ... well, that's all really.

The true mark of a hero is not when he saves the day, but it is when he knows that saving the day means risking his life to do so.

I am a hypocrite.

2008-11-17T15:27:00.004+08:00

Hi.
It wouldn't have been an inevitable thing if I weren't the type of guy to think about stuff I shouldn't.
Sadly, I am that type of guy.
And, most unfortunately, I suck at it.
Oh wait, I either suck BADLY at it, or I ace it too AWESOMELY.
Heh.
I don't know.
I always say that my friends are jerks and they never really care if I were thinking of letting go of everything I've ever known.
I always say that they only befriend me because I'm the guy they can count on when they need answers during the exams.
I always say that when I'm in need of a friend, they are never there.
The truth is, I never look for them when I need them.
I expect them to come and comfort me, ask me what the heck is wrong and how to overcome it.
Well, that is what I expect of a friend I've known since grade school.
It's what I expect of someone who claims to be there whenever.
I don't who's to blame; me or them.
SERIOUSLY.
However, when I do come to them, seeking for some companionship, they laugh at my face, saying that it's all going to be alright; that everything that I'm thinking about is nonsense.
They don't realise how WRONG they are.
They don't come to think for one second that I may just cross the line and one day ... one day, I'll finally do it for REAL.
Yes, I've been blowing my horn, telling them how lifeless I am.
I've been trying to get a grip of what's left of my sane mind.
I've been torn apart by how I want to live and by how I should live.
I've been broken to pieces, thinking of what I really want in life.
I shit every morning knowing that I'll do the same thing, over and over again for the next lifetime.
I cry every night, cutting my arm, trying to see the blood that just won't come out.
I fear of my future.
I try to hold on.
I thought that I could stay away from the sorrows of time and space.
I thought that my life was supposed to be better.
I thought that I could be SOMEBODY.
But who am I?
Do I even know the person whom I stare at in the mirror every day?
Do I even stop for one moment to think of what I would've been if I never made the mistakes I've made?
I don't even know if what I just wrote was true.
I don't even know what the TRUTH is.
I have friends that disappoint me.
I have friends that make me laugh even when I don't want to.
I have friends, that tell me that I always act ridiculously and for no reason at all, I get laughed at.
I hate being the one they point at when something bad happens.
I don't think that I can stand people shouting when they shouldn't, people agreeing to things they should've disagreed on, people acting the way they shouldn't.
But, I also act that way.
Which ultimately means, I can't stand myself.
My, big, fat, hairy, smelly, ugly, sad and distorted self.
Myself.
Being the human being that I am I feel like an alien.
I look at myself and I get freaked out.
I try to tell people that I have yet to find HAPPINESS.
I say the wrong things at the wrong times.
I do the wrong things even when no pressure is felt.
I damn myself for being who I am right now.
I look to achieve far greater heights in life.
I don't think I will.
I lie to people every single day.
I lie even when the truth gives better benefit.
I lie even when there's nothing to lie about.
I'm ashamed of who I am.
I feel like if I were never here, the world would be a better place.
If not the world, then at least the lives of the people I know and the people who know me, would be better.
I don't know how people will react to this post.
I don't know how I'll react to this post.
All I know, is that the truth will always find it's way out.

I hate myself for hating what I hate right now;
And what I hate right now is myself for hating;
What I hate right now.

The internet is a necessity in my life.

2008-11-16T19:37:00.004+08:00

Hi.

I don't think I'd survive a week without the internet.
Well, yeah, I'll LIVE, but I wouldn't be alive.
Whatever.
I don't want to mess up your mind and make you leave before you get to finish this post.
So.
I'll blog about the past few days that I didn't blog about, starting:

13-11-2008
We went to KL without mom.
Dad had a meeting on Friday in KL and mom had one in JB, so she had to stay back.
She came later by bus.
I did nothing really during the whole day and only went off to KL at 11.00pm.

14-11-2008
Arrived at Cik Cha's house at around 5.00am!!!
We had to wait outside for about 5 minutes or so because nobody was awake and the gate was locked.
I didn't sleep through the whole time we were in the car, changing CDs, talking to dad, keeping him awake and stuff.
I also didn't go to sleep when we got there.
Instead, I watched Heroes Season 3, until episode 7!
Heh.
Starworld's only until episode 3, I think.
So, I have bragging rights.
Yeah.
However, I did go to sleep when morning came.
I'm always like that, not sleeping at night but sleeping the whole morning away.
When I got up, I checked my mails, replied some comments and then went out to eat.
Ate at Jamal's.
Then, dad took us to KLCC where I bought a new pair of futsal shoes.
This is what it looks like:

Here's a picture of me:
I do not know the person behind me.

Then, we picked up mom and went to eat at Uptown.
Then it started to RAIN!
Heh.
We had to sit under the umbrella-ella-ella which had holes in it.
Dad even said, in a surprised tone of voice, "Kuah jadi banyak!"
It sounds a lot funnier if you were there, but if you were, you wouldn't want to read this part now would you?
But, I know mom's reading, because she's a busy body.
Hope she doesn't read that part again.
Okay, now I know she did.
Anyway, after we got back, Aboy came up with the idea to watch MADAGASCAR 2 something, something...
So, Farhan, Fariq, Nana, Aboy and I bought the tickets online using mom's credit card.
We watched the movie at Times Square.
We went straight back home after the movie, which shocked me a great deal.
The movie was GREAT.
It was ... great.
Heh.
I need to watch it again if I were to give a better review.
Oh, and I watched a little bit of Transformers before I went to sleep.

15-11-2008
Woke up to see that Cik Yus and family, along with Cik Ajid were coming through the gates of Cik Cha's house.
Got showered and went out to The Curve.
I went with Aboy, Nana, Cik Cha and Acul.
Stopped at a Mamak restaurant because the others were hungry.
Ate some of Nana's Maggi Goreng, Aboy's Roti Canai Kaya and Cik Cha's Roti Bakar.
I don't really know what to say really.
However, there are some pictures from when we ate at IKEA.
Here they are:

There weren't that many pictures that turned out good so I'll only upload the ones that I think are good enough.
After that, I followed Nana to Fly.fm's Fly-niversary.
It's a concert celebrating Fly.fm's 3rd anniversary.
I got to see Bunkface, who were AWESOME, Faizal Tahir, Jac Victor and this other band.
They weren't really impressing.
Somehow, Cik Cha got us into the VVIP section so I got to see people drink beer and eat chicken wings when I was already stuffed.
Heh.
At about 9.00pm, I had to go to Melaka because my cousin's getting married.
We arrived at Melaka at about 11.00pm.

16-11-2008
Woke up at 10.00am.
Got showered and had my brunch at 11.00am.
Didn't do much throughout the whole time the wedding ceremony was held.
Just stayed indoors, away from the heat.
At about 3.30pm, we set off for home.

Now I'm here, blogging.
Heh.
I'm thinking of going bowling sometime this week.
Let's just wait and see.

How is you? Is nice...

What is it with parents and pre-trip planning?

2008-11-13T22:31:00.003+08:00

Hi.
When I become a dad, I'd like to be different than mine.
In more ways than one, I look to be better than him, and mostly all the dad's around the world.
I'm not insulting anyone in any manner, but I really think that they could be better.
I'll be more understanding.
I'll be a lot more tolerant.
I won't flip out in an instant without having real reasons.
I'll give my children the second chance they deserve.
I'll shout less and smile/laugh more.
I won't show disappointment and encourage my kids to do better and not expect too much of them.
I'll take them to see the world and what it can be.
I'll teach them how to behave and not teach them what they shouldn't know.
I'll talk to them more, listen to their problems and give useful advice.
I'll act according to the given time, condition and situation.
I'll listen to my family's problems and solve them as long as it can be solved.
I'll try not to make my kids depressed and accept them for who they are.
I'll love my wife and will not stop loving her, forever.
I'll make my family as happy as happiness.
I'll give my kids more freedom of speech.
I'll plan my trips/holidays/daily life before I start the journey.
I'll put on music that everyone wants to listen to.
I'll teach my kids want they want to know as long as it doesn't confuse me and them even more.
I'll try not to use bad language around my family.
I'll treat my wife the same way I'll treat my girlfriend, that way I'll love her more and take her out more often.
I'll buy a house where there's space for everyone.
I'll let my kids learn music from an early age.
I'll teach them how to write and read them bed-time stories until they say 'no'.
I'll let them decide, then decide for them when they can't.
I'll act like a dad rather than a leader, who bosses people around like they're some sort of robot.
I'll treat everyone equally and like humans.
I'll put family first, even before me.
Lastly, I'll try to use the word 'I' less and use the word 'we' as frequently as I can.

Being a father isn't like being an actor; you can't change roles just because you hate it.

Let's hope not...

2008-11-12T21:50:00.008+08:00

Hi.
I just deleted 5 minutes of worthless words.
None of which described what I really wanted to say.
But first and foremost;
I'M BACK!
Damn, I've been gone for too long.
It seems like I never wanted to write in here again.
However, I have followers, either discrete and public.
I thank you people who want to read all this.
To some, I live an ABNORMALLY NORMAL life.
To others, I'm AMAZING.
And you know why?
Of course you don't, you're not me!
Heh.
Well, I won't tell you why, but I'll tell you this.
From here on, I'll be reducing the amount of formality in my writing.
I won't go too informal, because if I did, you won't be able to understand what I'm saying.

Wow, I never thought I had to write in paragraphs.
Gee whiz.
That was so GEEKY.
Oh wait, speaking of geeks, hi, whoever you are who's-reading-this-that's-not-my-mom!
I've been away for so long BECAUSE:

I'm a lazy guy.
I had to study. (yeah, right)
I'm a lazy guy.
I didn't know what to write about.
I'm a lazy guy.
I was too depressed.
I'm a lazy guy.
I'm gonna stop doing that.

Well, that's mostly why I went AWOL.
I don't even know what that means.
A lot happened since ... forever.
Here are the highlights of my JOURNEY TO THE ENDS OF TIME:

I'm now officially NOT a shy guy.
I can call, message, comment and even TALK to ... without hiding my friggin' feelings!
I am so NOT a shy guy.
Exams are OVER!
I forgot.
Oh my god.
I should stop this.

I AM SO, SO, SO, SORRY.
I forgot most of the things I did throughout the whole time I stopped (for a break) blogging!
DAMN IT.
But, what I can remember is what I did YESTERDAY and TODAY.

11-11-2008
Last paper of the YEAR.
Accounting.
Pffffttt...
Well, that's what I though before it started.
When it ended I was like, "pffffftttt..."
Yeah, it was that HARD.
Heh.
You won't really understand how I say it without hearing me say it, but if you're anywhere near Haniesha, she knows.
I think.
When it was time to get home, me, Faiz (Da Lil' Man), Jason (Gaston) and Kornesh (Kor-Nesh) were asked to help Pn. Noraini to take down the curtains of 4M1 and 4M2.
I can see why she screams 4M2 a lot, they're no-good-delinquents!
Then, we did do what she wanted us to be doing, we set off for home.
But, because we were so famous, popular and good-looking, Pn. Bibi then told us to be Garbage Handlers.
Yeah, we had to throw, literally throw, plastic bags of used paper from the second floor to the first.
It felt AWESOME.
But it was also very TIRING.
Not only that, after we were done throwing, we had to get to the first floor to transfer the garbage from the Legaran Ilmu to Pn Bibi's lorry so she can sell it off for recycling thing and stuff.
I don't know what her real plan was, but it sure wasn't supposed to involve us students.
I mean, we were supposed to be PARTYING at Faiz's house.
Yeah.
PARTY.
But hell no.
After 3 hours of sheer determination to make a teacher feel happy, we were rewarded with RM5.
The guys who helped throwing and transferring were:

Me
Faiz
Kornesh
Jeyganesh (not really my friend)
Thinesh
This other guy
Abbas (John Rambo)
Hadi
Wan

EXHAUSTED was the adjective for all of us when we got home.
I don't want to tell you about what happened after that.
Not important.
Not important at all.

12-11-2008
WE WENT TO CITY SQUARE FOR AN OUTING!
YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's been way too long since we went out.
Farhan (The Stylo-Mylo Kid), Faiz and I went there via Kornesh's dad.
Mikel, Abbas and Taufiq went by bus.
Saw Adib there as well.
Once we got there, Farhan ony realised that he had NO MONEY on him.
He forgot to ask mom for some so he had to borrow my money.
First, we went to buy the tickets for Tropic Thunder.
Then, we went to eat at Marrybrown.
The pictures will be uploaded once I get them from Kornesh.
SERIOUSLY.
After, we went to pray, except Mikel and Kornesh of course.
They went somewhere else.
Popular Bookstore, I think.
Then, Mikel wanted to buy a new pair of shoes and I wanted to get something as well.
Mikel saw an awesome pair of slip-ons and wanted it straight away, well, after trying them on for size first.
But, we were already late for the movie so he put the shoes on hold.
I bought the popcorn and we went to watch Tropic Thunder.
The movie SUCKED.
Really.
It wasn't at all interesting and the humour was quite crude.
Of course I laughed here and there but overall, the movie wasn't worth watching.
Believe me.
Mikel and I planned to look for "prank victims".
We would laugh next to some strangers and make them feel all confused and stuff.
I guess you won't really understand what I'm trying to say by just reading this so you might want to ask me for more explanations.
After Asar, we went to the Food Court to meet up with Mikel and Kornesh again.
But before that, we hit the Arcade.
Spent RM5 there.
There are some pictures at the Food Court and a video, both will be uploaded soon, HOPEFULLY.
During the whole time we were there, it was raining outside.
Mikel went to get his shoes.
He bought them, along with a belt and a pair of socks.
I managed to buy a key-chain at Action City before going down to the bus stop.
To catch a bus, we had to cross the busy road and then had o wait in the rain.
We did and got so very WET.
Finally, after 5 minutes waiting in the rain and 5 minutes under the roof, a bus for Taman Universiti appeared and we boarded it at about 6.o0 pm.
There was a traffic jam, which is totally not unusual, and we were stuck in it.
We finally arrived at JUSCO at 7.05 pm.
Farhan and I were fetched by mom, Faiz and Mikel got a ride with Taufiq while Kornesh hitched a ride with Abbas.
Mom had to then fech dad from the airport so I was left at home with the brothers.
Heres what I spent today at City Square:

Money brought - RM200.00
Balance - RM76.10
Expenditure:
* Marrybrown - RM26.10 (RM12.50")
* Silver Planet - RM36.00"
* Movie (Tix+popcorn) - RM21.50 (RM6.00")
* Action City - RM19.80
* Bus fee - RM7.20 (Rm3.60")
* Arcade - RM5.00
* Toilet fee+lost money - RM0.30
* Money with Mikel - RMxxx
Total expenditure - RM115.90 + RMxxx
Total + balance - RM192.00
Money with Mikel = RM200.00 - RM192.00
= Rm8.00
(") Money that Farhan owes me - RM58.10

It's a good thing I'm a smart guy.

If she knows that I know that she knows I know, and everyone else already knows what we both know, then why would she act like she doesn't know that we all know what I know?

I am an addict.

2008-10-09T22:12:00.004+08:00

Hi.

It seems to me that I get addicted to things that I ... not to say the things that I shouldn't, but the things that I shouldn't really actually be addicted to.
I'm not talking about DRUGS or CIGARETTES or anything.
Those things are called slow suicide enforces.
It's something that I thought up.
I mean, people who smoke or do drugs are only damaging themselves and from there they ultimately determined their death by ... doing what they do.
It's almost the same as suicide which is killing yourself.
Anyway, I'd really like to flow the other way regarding this topic.
What I started out to say was that I hate my studies and I like my life outside of it.
These are the things that I'm addicted to, more or less:
the Rubik's cube.
football, Liverpool FC in particular.
my guitar.
and music.

Well, those things and more, which I will not tell you.
Why am I addicted to those things?
Easy.
It's because they DISTRACT me from my STUDIES.
Not that I'm not a smart-working student, it's just that I'm really, really lazy.
Heh.
What a life I lead.
Even Da 'Lil Man said I was really hard to decipher, in terms of my personality, that is.
Enough about serious stuff.
Time to DANCE.
Today, Da 'Lil Man held a, sort of, party-like + beraya + makan-makan thingy in the afternoon after school.
After school, I went to his house straight, because of 3 main reasons:
1. It was raining and I was already in his car;
2. I was already planning on going to his house for the event;
3. His mom insisted.

I, as you may have guessed, was the first person to arrive.
He had invited some other guys to come but they just got back from school and all.
There was Fried Mee Hoon, prepared by his mom, popiah, also by his mom and curry puff, ordered.
I felt quite uncomfortable because I was still in my uniform and I usually smelled after school.
Thank god I didn't sweat that much today.
The next people to arrive, in order of arrival are:
Taufiq;
John Rambo and Matt Hardy;
Izzy;
Sam I Am and his brother;
Am and Tom;
Tabla and his shy-shy friend.

When Am, Tom, Table and his shy-shy friend went away, the rest of us didn't have anything to do.
Da 'Lil Man's PS2 was not functioning and he hadn't another game console.
Then, I had an idea.
We played:
Twister.

Yep, that's right.
The game that ties you up in knots!
First we started off with 4 people per game.
Then 6 people per game.
Soon all 8 of us (including me, Da 'Lil Man and his brother) were on the mat posing for pictures.
I'll upload them later.
SERIOUSLY.
Da Lil' Man will transfer them to me.

Oh, but that's not all.
When I got home, dad wanted me to get my haircut.
And you know what?
I GOT IT.
It was sort of an awkward moment for me.
Seeing all that hair that I've kept for months fall to the floor, being cut, inch by inch, centimetre by centimetre.
Oh well, I'll grow it back.
Who knows, this time it'll be longer.
At night, my mom held a 'makan-makan' for some of her friends/students/RA/peoples.
Fong, her student, came and saw the Stylo Mylo Kid playing the keyboard (he plays exceptionally good) and was impressed by how well he could play it.
You see, the Stylo Mylo Kid knows how to read the notes of a music sheet so he plays them on the keyboard, then hey presto, a song!
My mom asked Fong to teach me how to play my guitar.
At first, she tuned my guitar.
She said that she was quite afraid of strings because everytime she tunes her violin's string, it breaks.
It took, I think, 10 minutes to tune my guitar but she finally did it.
Then she taught me some chords to play and stuff.
Now, I can play the E minor, G, D and C chords, although I'm not that good at it.
With a lot of practice, I'm sure I can be a pro someday.
I was suppose to be studying during the whole makan-makan but tonight, to me, was an exception.
Oh, one more thing.
I'm not pleased with just waving.
I figure it's time for some TALKING.

It doesn't matter how much happiness overpowers sadness, because at the end of the day, the sadness will still always be there.

This calls for an applause.

2008-10-08T23:14:00.007+08:00

Hi.

I have a ... G.U.I.T.A.R!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am PSYCHED, like TOTALLY.
I haven't named it yet.
I don't think I will.
Maybe when I'm successful and famous I'll name it.
For now, I'll just call it my guitar.
I got it on the 7th of October, 2008.
My parents bought it for me for my birthday.
It didn't cost that much compared to the other guitars there, but it's a decent enough, beginner's guitar.
It's a Stagg guitar, wooden body and neck.
Brownish colour, I think with black accents and stuff.
Here are some pictures of it:
Stagg.
That sort of black spot on the ... body of the guitar is the pick.
Amateur photography, angle from above.

Well, we went to the C&M Music Store place at 6.30 pm.
We were all actually on our way back to Cik Mak Dik's house for a 'beraya thingy'.
She held a 'makan-makan' like we did the other day, only on a smaller scale.
There are actually pictures there, I'm just lazy to put them up.
Maybe when I'm not exceeding my bedtime.
The menu was Satay and all its accessories e.g cucumber, peanut sauce and all, Mamak Fried Noodles, rice, fried chicken and sausages among others.
The food was nice and the drinks were FIZZY.

Well, enough talk about YESTERDAY.
Today, we 'beraya-ed' to Cik Apis' house.
Ate Rojak Asmah (I think that's what it's called), fish curry, fried fish and ... cooked vegetables.
Now I'm back here, in Mutiara Rini, blogging.
I made the move and obtained a result.
I won't tell you anything but what I will say is this:
I WILL NEVER, EVER GIVE UP.

My words maybe harsh, but the truth is what we always should speak.

OH, MY GOD

2008-10-05T11:08:00.005+08:00

Please help me.
I am in total trauma and in absolute fear of this blog, at the moment.
Why?
Because I have to post a blog about THE WHOLE OF THE WEEK OF 'EID.
Well, this is because my 'kampung' does not give me access to the internet.
My mom's Blue Cube thingy works, but not efficiently.
I mean, I have to wait 10 minutes for one web page to load and I didn't have the patience and time to wait so I gave up.
Well, I'll start off with the 29th September.

UPDATE: THIS POST HAS BEEN UPDATED AND HAS BEEN ADDED WITH PHOTOS. VIEWER REVIEW IS ABSOLUTELY ADVISED.

29th September
I DON'T REMEMBER!
NO!
Well, here's what I do remember.
I broke my fast at Tok Mak's house and slept at Mak's house.
Different people, seriously.
Later that day, at about 11 pm something, The Penang Family came!
I was reluctant to greet them because they were just the tip of the iceberg for the fun to start.
I slept on the floor that night.
THE FLOOR.
I need a bit of a recap so for the time being, here's all about that Monday.

30th September
Last day of fasting.
Felt indifferent.
Was kind of bored because the Penang brothers were always fighting and making noise.
I swear, those people are crazy when fighting.
I showed off my Rubik's cube solving skills.
They were speechless.
My all-time record to solve it is 59.17 seconds.
SERIOUSLY.
In the wee hours of the next day, more people came.
FUN WILL START.

1st October
SELAMAT HARI RAYA!
It's 'Eid.
Woke up at 7.30 am.
Got showered and went to the mosque for prayer.
Then, we all got together for picture time, one of the best times of the year.
It's when everyone tries their best to look their best so their picture turns out AWESOME.
Then, it was FORGIVING AND FORGETTING time, where we all had to go around and shake hands for forgiveness and everything which is a common phenomenon to happen on the first day of 'Eid.
This was also the time to get Raya Money.
Yes, we get money.
At the same time, we all took candid photos.
The best photos to take during 'Eid.
Heh.
Here are some of the BEST photos taken from my mom's camera:
The whole of those who were apparent ... okay, present that morning.
Family picture.
Motive: "Semangat Raya"
Me and Aboy, 2 'slimmed' dudes.
Ayah and Mommy.
Me, Mommy and The Stylo Mylo Kid
Cousins United!

After all that, my family and I went to Tok Mak's house and stayed there until the next morning.
In that time, I watched Batman Begins (first time watching it) and then watched Liverpool VS PSV Eindhoven.
The Reds won 3-1!

2nd October
The people from Mak's house came to visit.
Good times.
Mak, who dislikes rice, bought KFC before coming.
Funny.
Then, I went to 'beraya' to people's houses, following Mak.
I'd like to list all of them, but I'm not that geeky.
During all that visiting, the Stylo Mylo Kid INTENTIONALLY ACCIDENTALLY brought with him the car keys to DAD's car.
Funny.
Mak wore her Dragon's Eye Locket.
Made mad jokes about it.
Funny.
Went to sleep at Mak's house.
Sometime in the night time, the family from Pahang arrived.
Good times, good times.
However, that night, we didn't sleep.
AT ALL.
We, the cousins, talked about a lot of things.
Fun things.
We cuddled up on the mattress and talked about awesome things.
Awesome things.
Funny things.
Things you don't actually talk about.
Good times, good times.
Here are photos from when we came back from 'beraya-ing', also from my mom's camera:
Close up.
Our cheeks were supposed to be locked together. That person on the far right didn't get the picture, if you know what I mean.

3rd October
Went to Tanjung Langsat.
My butt cramped up in the car because there wasn't much space at the back.
There was a barbeque waiting at Mak's house.
My birthday was on the next day.
Got T-shirts, a watch and money for presents.
Not my preferred presents, but I like them just the same.
I asked for a guitar from my parents.
I want them to buy me one, instead of me choosing one for myself.
Because, if I did, it wouldn't feel like a birthday present.
*sigh*
I'll still get it anyway.
I'm gonna be a ROCKSTAR.

4th October
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
I wasn't really in a festive mood of any kind.
I don't know why though.
But then I kind of figured out that my parents were holding a 'makan-makan' at my house.
There were a lot of people attending, mostly relatives.
It was great to see everyone.
At 8.00 pm, John Rambo, Da 'Lil Man, Sam I Am and his brother came over.
Only John Rambo remembered my birthday.
He gave me a LIVERPOOL FC LOCKET.
I love him for that (WTF?!).
Haha.
The others?
Some friends, they are.
We ate and went up to play PS2 until 12.00 am.
Haha.
Seriously.
Those guys actually went back at midnight.
Crazy guys, my friends are.
Heh.

So, here I am, on the 5th of October, in front of my laptop, blogging.
The day's not over yet so maybe there'll be another post later.
Till then.

Happy birthday, to me.
Happy birthday, to me.
Happy birthday, dear Suicide Monkey.
Happy birthday, to me.

p/s: This post has been and will still be edited, SERIOUSLY.

Awesomeness is relative.

2008-09-27T13:04:00.000+08:00

Hi.
I am not at all loving life.
I don't HATE it.
I just don't LOVE it.
I always complain on how not awesome my life is but it's true.
Heh.
*sigh*
Anyway, the other day, Tuesday September 23rd, I went out to break my fast.
Went out to JUSCO Taman Universiti with Da Lil' Man and Mikel were the only ones MAN enough to go out.
The others are CHICKENS and SISSIES.
I went out and fetched Da Lil' Man at 6.30 p.m. or so and Mikel had already been on his way there.
Upon arrival, JUSCO was PACKED.
Yeah.
The people were like in a sardine can waiting to opened and eaten.
McDonald's, KFC, Johnny's, Sedap Corner ... EVERYWHERE was packed.
We had already planned on eating at Secret Recipe but it was full, too.
I broke my fast (WTF?!) by drinking a bottle of Pop and bought a Papa Roti bun.
I decided to pray first and prayed to God for space.
Yes, it sounded really funny then it still does know.
It's just that I don't know how to transmit the humour and hilariousness of the dialogue among me, Da Lil' Man and Mikel.
Anyway, we only got to eat at Secret Recipe at 7.50 p.m.
Even then we only ordered the food and not hadn't really got the food yet.
I ordered Prawn Macaroni with Cheese and Ice Lemon Tea.
Da Lil' Man had Chicken Cordon Bleu and drank Hot Chocolate.
Mikel ordered Lasagne (Beef) and also had Hot Chocolate.
We also got Aussie Cheese.
Ate until we were, surprisingly, full.
Then, we hit the arcade.
Played LA Machineguns and used up a total of RM 18 more or less.
We got to the final misssion but Mikel didn't survive until the end.
Loser.
So now I'm in KL and it's 3 days away from Hari Raya.
I didn't lose weight this Ramadhan and my phone is acting pretty stupid at the moment.
Tonight I don't think I'll get to watch the DERBY.
Everton are so going down.

To get hurt but not feel the pain ... is to DIE.

Migrains are my breakfast, vomit is my dessert.

2008-09-22T18:39:00.000+08:00

Hi.

I think I totally DISGUSTED you people by my title.
Sorry.
It wasn't really intentional, I just have a headache right now.
Da Lil' Man was here wanting me to teach him how to solve one of these:

A Rubik's cube.
3x3x3 in any sense.
The 4x4x4 I'll get from Gaston tomorrow, hopefully.
It wasn't that hard, solving the 3x3x3.
Yeah, it took me a while but I got it eventually.
But seriously, I GOT it.
Now I can solve without any problems.
I think.
Well, besides that awesome achievement, I also did NOTHING else that is worthy of a place in my post.
I HATE it when that happens.
It's quite evident that my life isn't as exciting as you'd want it to be.
However, since I don't really know where to turn to when I feel like writing, I write here.
Although some use blogs to attack other people or maybe, I don't know, brag about their life, I don't.
Mostly because I can't.
Mostly because there's nothing to brag about.
Heh.
Again with the not-so-awesome-life of mine.
Whatever.
I'm thinking of studying tonight.
MAJOR UNCHARACTERISTIC of mine.
It's crazy.
But I want straight As for my finals so success doesn't come without effort.
It's almost 'buka' and I'm feeling quite hungry.
Tomorrow I'm thinking of breaking fast outside with the gang.
Hope it happens.
Heh.
Man, I've been putting on weight.
No matter, I'll lose it when I get back to training on the afternoons.
I'm feeling like running.
Ah, what am I blabbing about?
Well then, maybe I'll get closer, close enough to even make a move.

To be normal is to be ABNORMAL; to be abnormal is to be NORMAL.

For a second there, I thought everything would change.

2008-09-13T14:32:00.001+08:00

Hi.

Damn it.
I think I'm losing the blogger touch.
It's crazy.
I really want to make this the MOST AWESOME blog ever.
But it seems that nothing awesome happens in my life.
Well, not on a regular basis at least.
Well, I haven't written in a week or so and I fear that if I don't write today I may end up not writing FOREVER.
On Monday, September 8th, my mother celebrated her 41st birthday.
Dad gave her a watch, the Stylo-Mylo Kid played her a song and I wrote her a poem.
Here it goes:

A Birthday Poem For The Best Mother In The World

by Suicide Monkey

8 9 6 7

Without you there’d be no heaven

All these years you’ve stood unshaken

For you, the impossible is best left unspoken

Don’t fret now, I’ll make it happen

The way I see it, you’re always the same

You bear the same voice

You bear the same name

Let it be known that you are the only one I can call my mother

And I’ll always be your son

For now until forever

In with the night as the day goes by

The moon comes shining as the sun goes shy

I take pride in everything I succeed

Since it was your advice that I heed

Of all the things that went without a say

This time I’ll make you smile

This time, today

Happy birthday

Another year has gone and past

Happy birthday, mommy

I hope that this won’t be your last

Yeah well, it's something that comes truly from the heart.
That night, we 'buka puasa' at a restaurant that served buffet.
I don't know the name of the restaurant and the pictures are as follows:

The food. Before being eaten. And that's me in orange.
That's the whole family, except the cameraman.
(from left) Cik Yus, Ismadi, Iskandar, Cik Yana
(from right) Cik Ajid, Mak Jah, me and ayah.
He would harass me if he didn't appear in this post so here's a solo picture of him.

The food was GREAT, except the jelly-dessert-thingy.
It was already spoiled.

Then, throughout the whole week until yesterday, nothing VERY, VERY, VERY SPECIAL happened.
Well, on Tuesday, September 9th, it was Yana's birthday.
Then, on Wednesday, September 10th, it was Kor-Nesh's birhtday.
And then, on Thursday, September 11th, it was Kor-Nesh's mother's birthday.
A week full of birthdays.
Other than that, nothing really.
Life's kind of boring when nothing special happens.
It's not like I drove a car into the side of the bank and robbed all it's money.
Or did I?
I didn't.
Oh, I think that I'm gonna make a move soon.
Wish me luck.

All the contusions and the bruises aside, the real damage is invisible, because the damage done is hidden inside.

Black and white.

2008-09-04T21:24:00.000+08:00

Hi.
I decided to write even though nothing REALLY, TOTALLY AWESOME happened lately.
There was the life's everyday fair share of laughter and tears.
Oh, I'm getting CLOSER to THEM.
If you know what I mean.
Heh.
By the day, I feel more prompt to talk to them in a more fluent way than I usually used to.
You see, I've begin to think that I shouldn't be afraid of anything ... or anyone.
What for?
It's not like people always tend to be a murderer when you're not looking or anything.
I don't dig Chemistry.
I don't even DIG for that matter.
I don't know, but Chemistry was always a pain in the ass for me.
And every other Science subject, except Physics.
I like Physics.
Physics = awesomeness.
Up until now, I haven't grown bored of it.
The way we can really imagine how things work and how they don't.
Unlike Chem, you have to really, really, really imagine the particles, molecules and stuff.
Sure, I'm imaginative, but when I do get imaginative, I tend to lose contact with the real world and start to drift away from reality.
My reality is my fantasy.
It should be.
The only real thing that we can fathom is usually the things we do understand in the first place.
Everyone needs an escape.
Mine is in my head.
Heh.
Oh, and just so you know, I've already bought THE BLACK PARADE IS DEAD!.

It is AWESOME.
The performance in Mexico City is the best show I've ever seen them perform.
You should get it, it'd be worth every penny.

The pleasure in having a relationship is when you know your lover really loves you.

Semangat Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

2008-08-29T20:19:00.000+08:00

Hi.

I promise that I will TRY to remember this day FOREVER.
Why?
Easy.
Because I was Rahman, and I went against my mother after asking her for money, then sang my whole heart out.
I ran around like a crazy man, did two air-guitar solos and then got my voice back but then lost it again.
All of that, after 2 weeks of nothing but plans, a day of writing and a week of practice.
If that's NOT AWESOME, then bring me Captain Awesome and I'll break his neck.
All 12 of us were all nervous yet excited but also not prepared at the same time.
Those 12 individuals are:
1. Suicide Monkey - Rahman (Actor)
2. Da Lil' Man - Rahman (Voice)
3. Kor-Nesh - Mutusamy (Actor)
4. John Rambo - Mutusamy (Voice)
5. Mikel - Ah Beng (Actor)
6. Gaston - Ah Beng (Voice)
7. Alim - Mak Jah (Actress)
8. Laili - Mak Jah (Voice)
9. Yana - Commercial Girl #1 + Props/Costume Designer
10. Athirah - Commercial Girl #2 + Props/Costume Designer
11. Santhya - Storyteller
12. Ezza - Helper

Well, if you've read until this part and still don't understand what the heck's going on, I'll tell you.
Before the holidays began last week, En. Izzat told us to perform a pantomime that has themes about Independence Day (Hari Merdeka).
At first, I didn't really know what I was suppose to do.
It was kind of hard to think of a storyline that would be simple enough to understand, but awesome enough to make the crowd go WILD.
The whole week of holidays I tried to write but nothing really came to me.
Then on Monday, I confronted En. Izzat and told him that by then we had almost NOTHING to work on.
I know, you would've said "Damn", too.
So we gathered and discussed the situation and Gaston had an idea so we built on that.
Using my incredible writing skills and ingeniously smacking off-the-wall humour-filled dialogue, we practiced the whole of the remaining 3 days before D-Day.
Most of the time we'd slack off and maybe just sit around and do nothing.
But it was on Thursday that things began to get to our heads.
Life became so much shorter, time began to tick so much faster ... and my voice began to fade, syllable by syllable, till I finally talked like a real ROCKSTAR.
Heh.
My voice still is.
Want to hear it?
You can't, unless you're near me, which I really doubt.
Anyway, when the Poetry Recital thing ended, and the teacher began to say our names, I knew that this was IT.
I went out first.
Although I didn't actually know that I was the head of the team of performers, I knew that they wouldn't do this if I weren't giving it my all.
I did one of the best performances I ever did in front of about 1200 eyes.
Maybe more.
Every single thing that came into my head, I used it.
Every single motion that I could do, I did.
Nothing was keeping me from fame and popularity.
I didn't really know or realise that I was exhausting myself until the show ended.
I ran around the crowd with a flag in my palms while shouting (and not actually singing) "SAYA ANAK MALAYSIA!!!"
Everyone couldn't help but cheer their freaking lungs out.
I felt the emotion and energy they generated and absorbed it, making it mine.
I just had to make this my show, my time to shine, my own THING.
And I did.
After the performance had ended, Pn. Bibi, En. Sabri and En. Zak all congratulated us, me in particular.
Heh.
Not to tune my own horn, but hey, if you're the star of the show then you're the star of the show.
However, I want to thank everyone, from those who helped to those who didn't even know anything about the performance.
THANK YOU.
All of this wouldn't have been a success if it weren't for EVERY SINGLE ONE of you, I doubt I would've been out there this morning.
Well, here are some pictures I took this morning.
I'll try to get more and better pictures from everyone else.
These are from my phone:

Before the show began.
Kor-Nesh and Mikel.
Gaston with a very happy face.
Da Lil' Man with John Rambo in the background.
Both Mak Jah's practicing their part.
I wonder how my picture turned out?
Pre-show jitters were a no show. That's Mikel sitting down, Yana in front of the mirror and Ezza standing up.
John Rambo. He actually didn't want to show his face, but I got the better of him.
He was told to cut and paste things for En. Sabri. He didn't do the greatest job but he had other commitments.
That's Suicide Monkey, in his outfit.

After the show.
The cast, well most of them, minus me, Gaston and Ezza.
This is a candid picture actually.
Tired faces were all around, but the Semangat of Merdeka was still there.
She was still singing "Saya Anak Malaysia".
This time humming.
The last picture I took for the day at school. These are the girls behind and in front of the scenes.

Heh.
Well, after all that exhausting acting, miming, singing, running and shouting, I finally went back home.
But, there was another pleasant surprise waiting for me at home.
NOBODY brought their keys.
We (me, my brother and my brother) were locked out for about 10 minutes.
Heh.
It was kind of, rare, that I get locked out.
I didn't bring my keys because I changed bags today.
And it's always me who they expect to have the keys.
I took some pictures to past the time:
If you're key-less, lie on the floor like a baby in a cradle.
He got "glittered".
Dad's bike. I think I'll get it eventually.
Random picture of socks. Not mine, by the way.

Well, after an exhausting day of fun-filled antics, I finally realised that I'm actually exhausted.
Heh.
I didn't go out today to play ball like I use to.
Too tired to do so.
Instead, I won the FA Cup final, won the ECC final, won the Premiership and bought Kaka, Carlos Eduardo and Adler.
Heh.
Nothing much to brag about but what the heck.

These palms are sweaty because they've been worked to the bone by your relentless fiddling with the strings of life and the boundaries of time and space.

7 days in 7 minutes.

2008-08-24T20:09:00.000+08:00

Hi.

I'm not satisfied.
Sure I got 9 days of holiday and I got to spend a lot of money during a period of those 9 days;
I'm just not feeling it.
The happiness I should feel after having nothing to do with books and school and studying.
Oh, the wonders of laziness.
I am so not doing any of the homework that I should be doing.
What for?
Holiday does not equal to holiday when added with homework.
The equation just doesn't add up.
Well, I haven't been blogging for the past few days because nothing SUPER DUPER AMAZING happened.
Well, the other day (22/8/08, Friday) I did get to go to Tesco near Giant Plentong and JUSCO Tebrau, it was kinda fun but not as fun as shopping in KL.
I'm not saying that I'm not filled with much gratitude and appreciation that my parents had the nerve to take us out shopping and travelling.
Thanks, Ayah and Mommy.
Well, here are some pictures from Tesco and (had no real good pictures from JUSCO):
I ate Teriyaki Chicken with Fries. I don't know the real name of the dish, though.
And had Ice Lemon Tea.

Yeah well, I'm not a photographer so I couldn't get better looking pictures to upload.
On Saturday, 23/8/08, I almost virtually did NOTHING.
The only thing fun was tuition.

Then, today, Sunday, 24/8/08, I went to UTM for a chess tournament.
My results were:
1st round : Table 02 against player 035, I won, my opponent never showed up.
2nd round : Table 02 against player 037, I won, by checkmate.
3rd round : Table 01 against player 025, I lost, by checkmate.
4th round : Table 06 against player 053, I lost, by checkmate.
5th round : Table 11 against player 039, I won, by checkmate.
Final round : Table 08 against Izzudin, I won, by total annihilation.
My form was W,W,L,L,W,W which earned me a 14th place medal.
Here are some of the pictures of the tables and medal I won:
Official poster for the tournament.
Table 02 (Sorry I forgot to take a picture of Table 01. Must've slipped my mind)
Table 06.
Table 11.
Table 08.
There it is. My 14th place bronze medal. It's not made of plastic, mind you.
If you noticed, you can see the 5 Olympic rings at the top of the frame of the medal. I don't get it either.

Oh well, the end of today marks the end of another week of school holiday.
I miss having fun with friends and going out to watch movies and stuff.
It's been a long time since the My Chemical Romance concert and I wish that I could relive that night.
Anyway, there'll always be more holidays and there'll always be more concerts to go.
Let's just hope that I get there in time.

If all the things we've done got us to where we are today, then it would be useless to think about the things we didn't do; because they never really mattered.

The holidays are disappearing faster than I can say 'Yay!'.

2008-08-21T01:15:00.001+08:00

Hi.
My friend said that I should write my blog and stain it with colour like Miss Lame-Ass Sha's.
I don't think I'll be doing that until next year.
I mean, seriously.
I'll try to do something like hers.
Her blog is really, really fun and enjoyable.
But I don't want to talk about her blog in my blog.
It'd seem odd.
Pretty odd, if you ask me.
Anyway, today I actually woke up when the clock was still valid in AM.
It felt awesome, knowing that I didn't just waste half of a holiday day (WTF?) with just sleeping.
Just so you know, I'm not the kind of guy who likes to waste things, but I do it anyway.
Life's like that, you know.
Anyway, besides waking up kind of early, I also went back to Sassy Grandma's.
Met The Child.
He was at it again, again.
Heh.
He never stops to frustrate me with his childish ways.
To think that he's as old as the Stylo Mylo Kid.
14 years of pure and unstained nothingness.
God, I hold up my palms and pray that this soul be blessed with knowledge and his head be filled with IQ.
Amen.
So, I also invited Naive to join my futsal team.
Got him and his naiveness in a package, sealed and ready to be ... unsealed.
Heh.
I wonder how tomorrow's going to work out.
I'm not thrilled of the homework thing and all the time wasting agendas, but being curious to see how life is blossoming into, who wouldn't want to live to see the next day?

If I could shine where the sun would hide, then maybe I should shine where the heart's dark inside.

Make my day ... and my bed while you're at it.

2008-08-19T20:30:00.000+08:00

Hi.
Ever heard of the song, "Help Me, God, I'm Freaking Out, My Shoes Are Untied"?
Never?
That's because I haven't recorded it yet.
Gotcha.
Heh.
Anyway, I was only recently asked if I'd like to be a zombie, waiting for people to run by and stare at rockets.
I don't want to.
Mostly because, I'm too lazy to wake up in the morning and sit on my butt until the afternoon.
I mean, who wakes up at 9.00 AM on a school holiday?
Right?
It's too harsh and too brutal.
I'm not saying that I wouldn't like to, but the timing isn't right.
And I wouldn't like my partner too.
He's not my type of friend.
And I've been trying to contact this other friend, but she wouldn't pick up.
Don't ask me why, even I asked her why.
Oh, how time seems to run instead of crawl.
How we all start to climb to only begin to fall.
I'm not really thrilled by this offer.
Yeah, I like this teacher and sure being an Exhibit Zombie would be kind of nice, but I still feel reluctant to go.
Moreover, my mom just told me that she wanted to bring us back to Sassy Grandma's house.
Now she tells us.
She should have told us a weekend ago, or maybe yesterday, or this morning at least.
It seems that my parents only tell us where we're going, when we're already there.
Oh, how I long for pre-travel planning.
Anyway, today I asked Spikey to join my team for next year's futsal tournament.
I want to make this dream of mine come true.
And shove the faces of the Soccer Ghetto Kids in the dirt where they should be.
Heh.
So I'm a bit bitter, so what?

I finally realise that one day, I'll be a man; but until then, I want to feel like a child.

I never run out of ideas ... I just run out of good ones.

2008-08-19T00:11:00.000+08:00

Hi.
I was asked why I always write a 'hi' every time I start to blog.
Well, the answer is simple really.
It's because I have manners.
Of course people would start a conversation by saying 'good morning', 'good day' and whatever, but, the thing is, not everyone reads a blog in the morning or in the noon or in the night.
It's a really universal thing and it shouts unity in its own way.
Unity is what Malaysia is supposed to be all about.
But I don't talk about the country, I talk about the world and reality.
I take advantage of another person's death, I write a song about it and I feel sad.
Then, I'm awakened.
I realise, that not all things live to see forever.
And not all things forever are alive.
Take it from someone who thinks he's too smart for himself, not everything you see is something you'll believe.
Believe me.
I wouldn't go as far as saying that all you see are lies, but be careful.
Well, I should be writing about today's or yesterday's events.
Well, yesterday we went shopping at KLCC.
And shopping we did.
I spent RM99.00 of my money and RM500++ of my mom's.
I used my money to buy futsal gloves while my mom's money was used to buy 5 Ashworth T-shirts.
All of different colour but the same pattern.
Then we ate at Burger King.
I had at least 3 full large-sized cups of soda.
Had a stomach ache after that.
Heh.
Here are some pictures I took yesterday:
Suicide Monkey in the flesh!
The urban chix.
The stylo-mylo kid. D=
Proof we ate at Burger King.

Well, that's just about what happened yesterday.
I'm already back in Johor.
Going to live out the rest of the holidays here, I figure.
I'm going to ask the Friends to come over and play some games.
Izzy said he wanted a Guitar Hero III tournament.
I like the idea, just don't think I'll like the result.
Heh.

When the going gets too tough, you should get going.

Torres... Torres...

2008-08-17T11:27:00.000+08:00

Hi.
It was very unfortunate that yesterday I didn't write in my blog.
I have the knack to forget to do things when I haven't done it in a while.
I don't even write bulletins anymore on MySpace.
It doesn't matter.
I write here now.
And what's more, I forgot the font I used yesterday to write here.
It sickens me, and I don't have the time to check all the fonts and compare them and whatnot.
Oh well, whatever happens, happens.
Heh.
It's not like anyone reads it.
If only those kids would care to read it.
Anyway, I'm in KL now.
KJ to be exact.
It feels like home, being here again.
I haven't been to KL in a long time and I've missed it so.
Heh.
Well, I was really delighted, frustrated and relieved when I watched the Liverpool vs Sunderland match last night.
Well not exactly night because it started at 12.30 AM.
We (Liverpool) won 1-0.
El Nino scored the most beautiful goal ever.
I just had to shout and punch the air with both my fists.
Not very much happened yesterday besides going to KL and watching the match.
Oh, and I'm leading the My Fall-Park League table.
I have a feeling I can win it this season.
Fingers crossed.

Waiting till the day a liar tells the truth, would be like waiting for me to tell a lie.

Call me a follower, still you'll be following me.

2008-08-15T19:22:00.000+08:00

Hi.
This is my first time blogging.
It's kind of fun.

You get to write anything you want and let other people read them.
Sure you could get arrested for talking about shit and stuff, but, hey, everyone knows you can never speak out of line.
I'll try to write in here as frequently as I can.
Although I'm not one for being that committed to a certain thing, this time it's different.
I have two blogs to write daily.
This one and the other one about the Olympic Classroom Committee.
I'll spend my time now writing these blog thingies.
So, I should write about what happened today.
Well, as abnormal as this may be, I'll try to do my best.
I started out okay, then when I almost got to school, I left my PE clothes and manila card.
My brother forgot his PE clothes to, so he had to go home and change.
I told him to bring my stuff.
Mr. Discipline went into my class.
He was looking for Skippers.
My class was short of 4 people at the time; a guy and 3 girls.
Their names were noted down and the teacher said that they were Skippers.
I tried to help the girls but try as I may, I failed.
Their names still got taken so I felt kind of guilty.
Well, I am the Monitor, so I should take responsibility for these things.
Oh, and at the end of the day, the Olympics Committee was in full force.
Heheh.
Kind of a funny name.
I like it anyway.

Must I always remind you that your brain is the thing that's in between your ears and inside your skull?